Archive for the ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ Category

I’m On A Mission

September 7, 2012

About 2 weeks ago, I wrote a letter to Governor Branstadt of Iowa, asking him to make a change in the Iowa National Guard. I pointed out that he was the Commander-In-Chief, like the President, and had the power to stop letting these predators keep on abusing us in the National Guard. I told him the statistics, how this has been going on for years, and how the Iowa National Guard is the worst offender. I begged him to do something, and asked what would he have done if his son had actually served, and been raped. Maybe that is why he hasn’t responded, I do not know. But that isn’t going to discourage me. I plan on writing him again and again and again, because I am just so stubborn, and pissed off.

But I have decided to take it a step or two farther, because that is just how I am. I have decided I am going to start an email campaign, and write all members of the Senate and also the House of Representatives, both state and federal. And then I am going to do the same thing for all states, including governors. I hope I can start some kind of movement, and encourage others to do the same thing. Remember, one voice in a storm can go unheard. Many voices in a storm cannot be ignored forever. Please join me in my mission.

You can find the email addresses and fax numbers for ALL Congress Members and Governors at the following website:

Below is the letter I wrote to Governor Branstad:

Dear Governor Branstad,

I would like to bring your attention to an article that was on the front page of the Cedar Rapids Gazette on Thursday, August 9, 2012. I am providing the link to it, in case you didn’t. It was titled ‘Local Veterans Speak Out About Military Sexual Trauma.”

I am a veteran, who tried valiantly to serve my country in the Iowa National Guard for over a decade, in spite of the fact that I was repeatedly raped, harassed and discriminated against. I am not the only one. In fact, I know of at least 20 women who suffered some of the same things I did while serving right here in the great state of Iowa. Nothing was ever done, we were all told it was our fault, we all were punished and branded as trouble makers, and Godd***ed Females. I lost my career over trying to make it stop. I even caused my unit to be investigated by the Inspector General’s Office. I attend a Female Veteran’s Retreat every year on the English River, and guess what the #1 topic is? Military Sexual Trauma and PTSD.

I even wrote a letter to The Adjutant General, pleading with him to make a change. Nothing has. Since I left the Iowa National Guard 14 years ago, other women veterans I served with told me of their rapes & harassment. I was so angry to find out my sacrifice accomplished nothing, and that it only got worse. I work with a man who served 20 years in the Army Reserves here in Cedar Rapids, and I asked him one day why he chose the Reserves over the Guard. He said it was because he couldn’t stand the way they treated the women, that the National Guard is the worse branch of the military for how they treat women. Unfortunately, I have heard this many times.

Pardon me for being so bold, but are you NOT the Commander-In-Chief of the Iowa National Guard? And as such, have you no power to make this stop, and stop immediately? Or do you agree with most of my own chain of command, that if a woman wants to be in the military, she gets what she deserves? Do you know in the military 1 in 3 women, and 1 in 10 men are sexually assaulted? What if your son served, and was raped? What would you do? 

What will you do now?

Thank You For Your Time,



Don’t Ask…Don’t Tell?

March 14, 2012

Hi, Friends,

I had a situation come up last night at the VSO meeting that has me wondering…what do I do now?  By the time my husband told me about the conversation…it was too late for me to take immediate action.

Our current VSO Commander, who I consider a good friend, told my husband and another individual that he spoke to a couple of OIF/OEF Veterans about joining our VSO group. 

They asked, “Is Joan still involved?” 

 He replied, “Of course.” 

They stated…”Then I want no part of it.”

Of course, this leaves him with a lot of questions.  I can’t be sure exactly who they are – but I can tell you what unit they are from and I can tell you that they were probably in the unit when I went after Sgt. JERK. 

I was up a large part of the night thinking about how to handle this.  The other individuals response was – screw them…we got her and she isn’t going anywhere.  I have to say that I am pretty well liked in my VSO – if being tasked for Post, District and State duty is any indication.  This morning my thoughts are still racing and I feel like I can’t get enough air.  It is my quicksand feeling.  I hate that feeling.  I know that it is simply a minor panic attack – but I know that it can last for hours…even days.  Yes…I know that they say that panic attacks don’t last THAT long…I say – bullpuckey!

Now the question becomes; how much do I tell my friend?  Does he have some right to know the situation with my discharge.  After all, he is out there working hard and trying to recruit new members.  On the other hand, how much of my person do I have to sacrifice to continue to serve in my VSO?  When I say, Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell – I am not talking about the policy for homosexuals in the military – I am talking about the fact that MST Survivors don’t want to be asked…and certainly are taught not to tell!

Do I believe that this individual will be respectful of the information that I share.  Yes, I think I do.  After all, he is a man…and I have little trust in them.  However, he has proven over the years that he is an honorable person.  He isn’t out for his own gain in the VSO work that he does – for the most part.  Have I had multiple arguements with this man?  Yup, more than I can count!  However, he has usually been respectful, even when we fight like an old married couple.

How much do I tell him?  There are times that I have stepped out an told – in an effort to encourage people in positions of power to do more to stop MST.  Normally, I get that look of sympathy, pity and a dash of unbelief.  I hate pity! 

I suppose I have to do something.  Either give an explanation or quit my VSO.  Once again – the perpetrators are trying to blame the victim.  I just hope that one day this will all end.

Thoughts and comments are appreciated.


Warning – Graphic Content!

December 1, 2010

The actual title of this post is:  Sluts and Bitches – but I didn’t want to put that into the title.  I found something incredibly disturbing out there on the Web today and it has me boiling mad!

What is the difference between a slut and a bitch?  A slut will sleep with anybody…a bitch will sleep with anybody but you.

A part time judge down in Hamilton County TN by the name of Joe Rehyansky posted on the site Daily Caller that Lesbians should be allowed in the military…but Gay men should not.  Sounds strange…until he goes on to say that this would give straight men a “fair shot” at converting these women.

And I quote:

 “It fell to men to swing through the trees and scour the caves in search of as many women as possible to subdue and impregnate — a tough job but someone had to do it.”

Apparently, this “judge” believes that the best way to turn Lesbians back to the “straight” life is to RAPE them!  And I am going to be very graphic here…But apparently, what these women need is just a little “dickens cider.”  Yeah, apparently “dick” can cure lots of things – like a woman’s desire to be her own person.  It can also cure that whole “bitch” thing.  Being a “bitch” just means that you aren’t getting laid enough.  Don’t like the fact that I outrank you…just “subdue” me and once you give me that magical organism that only your dick can give me that will take me from being a strong willed woman to one that swoooonnns on your very touch.  Hell, you are probably going to sleep with one of  us so it is going to be me!  Don’t fight it baby…I’m gonna make you feel sooo good! 


What in the HELL is wrong with this guy.  The last thing we need is some JUDGE running around giving his personal opinion about how to make a woman do what he wants a woman to do!  After all, if it is “okay” to “subdue” a Lesbian to make her “straight” then is it okay for a man to rape someone to make that woman “behave” the way he wants her to.  Gee, maybe if we just all decided to use “force” to get what we want.  I mean, if some guy is being an asshole do I get to shoot him?  After all – that would be an easy way for me to “subdue” him to my will – to do what I want him to do.  Or does this only go for women.

It is this gosh damn stinking attitude in the military that has us in this situation to begin with.  Did I mention that this guy is an Army Veteran?  Surprise, Surprise, Surprise there Gomer!  Gee, I wonder how many things got pushed under the rug by this ass wipe and filed under the title of “boys will be boys.”  You know, he goes on to talk about that too – that homosexual males, and all males in general, just can’t control those natural urges that make them want to rape, pillage and plunder.  Cause you know…boys will be boys and we don’t want no “fgts” forcin themselves on our soldiers.  Male soldiers…that is…cause the straight males have got a mission of converting all those Lebians.

I’m gonna stop here – because the more I say the angrier I am getting.  For all of you out there who think that we survivors (male and female) are just crazy little whiny babies…you read this “judge’s” words and see how you would feel if that man was near your daughter or wife or sister. 

I’d love to tell you how I would feel – but it just might be misunderstood and get me in trouble.

Lord – save us from these kinds of IDIOTS!


Doing Away With an Injustice

October 20, 2010

Which one of these is the “gay” servicemember?

 Good question…huh?  It is hard to tell from this angle.  As a matter of fact, in my years in the military I served with a number of homosexuals and many of them I didn’t even know they were gay until sometime later.

People seem to have this impression that if we allow gays to serve in the military we will have people doing “inappropriate” things in a foxhole.  As though a heterosexual soldier can control his or her “urges” but a homosexual soldier can’t.  Well, if I may be so bold to speak for all of us Military Sexual Trauma survivor…the “straight” troops don’t always do so well at “control” either!

There is a time to “grow-up” and the time is now.  If a person loves their country enough to offer their lives for the person next to them, then they should be allowed to serve with dignity and with honor!  Race, Creed, Religion, Political Status should not matter and neither should the person’s sexual orientation, so long as that person makes a choice to serve in a professional manner.  That doesn’t just go for a homosexual…it applies to heterosexuals as well!  NO one should be humping in a Foxhole and I don’t think that you can make a correlation between common sense and sexual orientation.  The rules are the rules and they apply, or should apply, to everyone.

I think that people have this overwhelming idea that we will have servicemembers showing up in “drag” or something.  Don’t you think that your average person (straight or gay) realizes that you have to follow military regulations! 

That’s right, boys and girls…it IS time to grow up.  It is time to realize that a “gay” soldier can die for their country just like a “straight” soldier can.  You really think bullets and bombs care if someone is gay? 

Then why do we?