Another Year

Another year has come and gone.  I know, it’s not December yet!  However, it is another “anniversary” of the day I was discharged.  The anniversary of the end of my military career and the hopes and dreams that come with it.

It’s funny – that Halloween holds both for me.  I love Halloween!  I’m a little crazy like that – it is one of my favorite times of the year – I love costumes and makeup and being crazy.  I find it ironic that my experiences in the military were even able to spread a shadow over a date on the calendar that I loved so much.

This experience changes everything.  Brigid and I were talking tonight and with the election so close it seems that abortion conversation is everywhere.  Jay has a great blog piece about this on his site today!  Regular readers of this blog won’t have much trouble seeing what side of the line I sit on – but while listening to the conversations today about who will do what if elected – I was struck by something.

In all of this talk about rape, incest and abortion they completely left one thing out.  Everyone talked about how important it is for a woman who is raped to be able to get an abortion – but no one talked about one simple fact…if men stopped raping – women wouldn’t need abortions for rape or incest because they wouldn’t be raped!  No one talked about the responsibilities of a civilized society to stop violence against women!  I hate the term “Sexual Assault” because there is nothing “Sexual” about it!  It’s not about “Sex” it is about power and control and hatred and violence.  I know what is “sexual” and rape isn’t it!!

I have a lot to be thankful for.  I did not conceive a child as a result of my assaults.  I don’t know what I would have done if I had – I don’t know how I would have dealt with that.  Knowing what I live with – I cannot judge a woman who has lived through a similar experience and conceived a child.  I can’t do it – because my heart breaks at the very thought.

I’m just very tired of it all today.  I am going to be having surgery very soon – they are finally going to remove my uterus.  The “pelvic pain” that is a result of what I have lived with has resulted in my 4th abdominal surgery trying to fix it.  These surgeries have tried to reverse the damage that they did – both physically and mentally.  This is the last one – after this they have done all they can do.




One Response to “Another Year”

  1. Myst Says:

    I hope that the surgery goes smoothly for you Joan, and that it helps take away some of the pain you’ve had to deal with. And I agree.. men and Govt have no place deciding what a woman should do in such a situation. It’s between them and themselves.

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