I am having problems getting the message across.  Some people, people who don’t know or understand, don’t seem to “get” what is going on.  This isn’t about sex…this isn’t about a couple of people who get too drunk and have sex and someone yells rape…this isn’t about someone who wants to get promoted so they sleep with someone in leadership.  Yes – those things happen.  No – I am not diminishing those in any way – they are just as traumatic.  What we need to get across is this:  THIS IS ABOUT PREDATORS.  REPEATING PREDATORS.  This is no different than the pedophile who goes after hundreds of children, like a Jerry Sandusky.

Let’s look at just one case.  My recruiter.  Regular readers to this blog will remember that Brigid and I shared the same recruiter.  He raped her…but he didn’t rape me…but let’s look at his pattern of behavior.  Why he didn’t rape me.

This recruiter had a pattern.  If you were to talk with Brigid and I face to face – you could clearly see it.  I will try to describe it here. 

My career choice took me away from his unit – Brigid’s career choice put her in his unit.  Even before this – he would say things like, “Come to my unit so I can take care of you.”  He was always about “taking care” to make sure we were seen to properly.  When she and I began comparing notes – we clearly saw a man who had a plan.

During Basic Training he would send letters.  He would write them in funny ways.  Different color ink for each paragraph.  Writing in a circle.  Silly things like that.  The letters would slowly become more suggestive.  He would always reinforce the idea that he could “take care of me.”  There was such a pattern to his writing that, after the fact, it became obvious that he was grooming you.

One of these letters, that I had somehow saved in my parents attic, became evidence in Brigid’s VA claim.  It became supporting evidence to my buddy letter on her behalf.  Just as important…it is evidence of a well prepared and experienced Predator.

So – why was Brigid raped by him and why was I not.  Well – I went to a different unit.  Remember – Rape is about control…not sex.  Once I was in my own unit – he had no control over me.  Truthfully – I would bet that he got some sort of sick satisfaction about looking around the unit on a drill weekend and seeing how many he “bagged.”  Anyone interested in serial predators knows that they will sometimes take a “trophy” – a memory of the rape and the victim.  His trophies…they were soldiers!  The women under his control.  Since I was not in his sphere of control – I was a threat to him – so he left me alone.  Not to mention the fact that he gave me the heebie-jeebies – so once I was back I avoided him like the plague!  I wouldn’t help him recruit – I wouldn’t be alone with him – I wouldn’t be near him.  You might say – I was the one who got away.

This isn’t the only Predator I have seen a pattern in.  SGT Jerk had a clear and concise mode of operation.  He wasn’t a sexual predator – he couldn’t be with the unit he was in.  He was a violent predator!  He was a woman hating son-of-a-bitch that used physical violence to control.  He also used degradation to control.  Looking back – it is sooo clear.  First – make sure you lower their self worth by putting them in a position that is beneath their rank.  Second – make the other platoon leadership believe they are useless, a poor leader.  Finally – the harder you are to break, the more violent he becomes.  Until you are left questioning your own abilities and are too afraid to challenge him.

Look at all of these stories.  These aren’t “misunderstandings” or “accidents” or “this is what happens when women are in the military.”  These are clear cut cases of Predator and Prey.  They hunted yesterday – they hunt today – they will hunt tomorrow.  Then, they will feed on the very souls of our soldiers and you have to know them to stop them.

Blessings and Peace,



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One Response to “Predators”

  1. Myst Says:

    This post… took me a while to feel strong enough to reply to because it hit so close to home Joan. The men who attacked and raped me, were all repeat predators. They told me how they would attack a newbie on base before she had a chance to make friends or get a feeling of being settled. They didn’t want their prey to feel safe or comfortable. I have no idea how many more the 4 men who attacked me had done before me, or after. But each had their formula down pat. No, they are not ‘misunderstandings’ or a man ‘not being a gentleman’ they are animals, who hunt to hurt and humiliate and destroy.
    I say, off with their nuts!!!

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