Holding Pattern

Hello, Friends.

I survived the Veteran’s Day mess, as a VSO Commander I spent two very busy days preparing for it.  We had multiple ceremonies and a dinner – complete with the typical kitchen problems that all seem to occur.  When my husband kissed me goodbye that morning he wished me, “good luck.”  My response to him was that this is “cake baby…I’m just dancing backwards in high heels.”

That is one of my favorite sayings; “Ginger Rodgers did everything that Fred Astaire did – only she did it backwards and in high heels.”  It is my constant reminder that I am competant and capable as a Veteran, as a Commander, even if I am a woman.

I took a couple of extra days off work to recover.  I was really looking forward to Friday with no responsibilities and no plans.  I crawled into the bathroom at 11:00 am with the plans of a quiet afternoon.  I decided to do my monthly self-breast exam…and the quiet day came to a crashing halt.  I discovered a highly abnormal discharge from my right breast.  A quick trip to the doctor’s office for slides and cultures.  Plans for a mammogram and ultrasound on Monday.

I’m in a holding pattern.  The good news is that the mammogram and the ultrasound came out unremarkable.  The bad news is that even the radiologist was talking about diagnostic surgery – even made a recommendation of a surgeon. 

I am in a holding pattern – waiting on tests.  Thank God for Brigid.  She is watching over me…she knows how I am.  I have just enough medical knowledge to be really scared!  Google and my Merck Manual provides the rest of the reasons to work on moving “scared” to “terror.”

I will let everyone know – for those who are the praying type – dropping in a good word for me is always appreciated.

On the up side the VA is all over this for me.  We are waiting for results from my local MD (who is excellent!) and then they will make all of the necessary referrals so that I don’t have a bill.  Our local University Hospital is NOT a place I like or that I am comfortable with.  As a result, the VA is going to send me to a local Hospital that I do like, it happens to be a Catholic Hospital with a very good track record and great surgeons.  They are also more willing to deal with the PTSD in me.  I had a colonoscopy there that was made so easy by the MD it was almost “cake..baby.”  I didn’t even have to explain my history – he was more than willing to do whatever I needed so that I would be comfortable.  No questions – just action.

So, here I am, hanging loose.  It will be a couple more days before I hear anything.  Until then…I will just keep dancing backwards.

Blessings and Peace.



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2 Responses to “Holding Pattern”

  1. Jerry Says:

    Hi Joan, My Aunt had a cancerous tumor removed from her breast at age 47 and she’s doing fine now 12 years later. Cancer free. I’ll be praying for you. Peace, Jerry

  2. enemyinthewire Says:

    Thanks, Jerry! I am sure that all will be well. I just hate waiting. I mean…I really HATE waiting.

    But – you know what they say…Patience is a virtue.


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