It’s All in the Cards

Yesterday I had an appointment with my therapist, and it didn’t go so well. I asked for my treatment records, so I can file my claim, and she at first refused to give them up. She started to get a little angry when we were talking about my need for a PTSD diagnosis in my records. She was saying that of course MST would cause more damage to a person who has already suffered from PTSD from childhood sexual abuse and trauma, and from the cancer, and what did the VA expect. I had never seen her like that, it really threw me off. She wasn’t angry at me, but the VA and the fact that I have suffered so much from the MST. She did agree to give up the records after I meet with the VA, and she calmed down.

But that just put me on edge something awful. I just kind of recoiled inside myself, and started getting kind of worked up myself. Then we started talking about the depression and the flashbacks, and it was just a really sucky appointment. Usually we laugh a great deal in my sessions, but no laughter this time. I was just uncomfortable the rest of the night because of this. I can’t really explain it.

Anyway, I got home, and my mom is calling me before I can even get out of the car. I answered the phone pretty rudely, “WHAT, I’m not even out of the drive way yet, what do you want?” Thankfully my mom is fairly understanding from my random outbursts like that. I always apologize, I never mean to snap at her. I felt bad that I had. So, I stayed in my driveway, and had the full conversation with her, and went to get the mail.

I opened the mail box, and there was a card from Joan. I was confused. I thought maybe it was an invitation to something, but I opened it immediately, still in the driveway. Here is what it said: Life can suck, I know. Let’s gt coffee sometime and talk about it…or we can get a bottle of wine and plot our revenge.

I couldn’t help but start laughing, still in the driveway. I don’t know how she knew life was going to suck so bad yesterday, but she did, and sent me a card. All I can say again and again, is thank God for putting Joan in my life. I never have to go through anything alone, and neither does she. We have been through the absolute best and worst of things together, and knowing she is just a phone call away, or an hour of crazy speed demon driving, makes all the difference.

Thank you again Joan, for being my bestest friend in the whole world.



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One Response to “It’s All in the Cards”

  1. enemyinthewire Says:

    Brigid –

    Your post makes me to cry. Love you!! And I thank God everyday for you!


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