Penis Envy

OKay – so this is a strange title…but let’s go with it.

I remember so clearly the day that Jerk told me…“You know…if you had a penis you would be a really great NCO.”

Not kidding, right hand in the air, left hand on the Bible…no fooling.  He actually said that to me.  Most of us women who have served in the military will tell you that you have to be twice as good to get half of the respect.  Because we are physically weaker than most of our male counterparts – you have to do more and show less pain on the physical side of the job as well. 

I remember another day that Jerk had mismarked the trail for the 2 miles run.  Since this was on the reserve component side of the house, we used a great nature trail for our two mile run.  At this PT test…the run was 1/4 mile too long.  I was taking my test with other who failed their test because I was getting ready to go to Primary Leadership Development Course (SGT’s school.)  The PT test there is Jerk decided that I had to take and pass a PT test every month for 9 months…or he would pull my reservation.    (BTW…in the time I was in the unit – I was the only soldier he ever required that of.  Even the other male soldier who had gone to PLDC 3 times and was kicked out all 3 times for failing his PT test.)

I completed and passed all three phases of the PT test…again.  When we all got to the end it was noted that the run was 1/4 mile too long.  So JERK adjusted everyone’s PT scores to account for it.  Then he did the funniest thing.  He took time OFF of everyones score…Then he ADDED 1 minute to my run time.  I passed…even at 2 1/4 miles.  But he ADDED time to my score so that everyone elses that he SUBTRACTED time from would look “normal.”

You ever just know you are screwed?!  How do you explain to your Battalion that your Company Commander won’t sign the documents he has to sign so that you can turn them in?  Your BN knows damn well they are done and they are correct – because the Training LT made sure of it.  However, your Company Commander, has decided to screw the full time staff at the company level by not signing the documents.  Is this JR High…or what?

Yup…I admit it…some days I have penis envy, especially these days.  Apparently, if I had a penis I would still be happily working my full-time military job and I would still have a retirement future.  (wanted…one cardboard box with easy access to garbage cans for one elderly woman.) 




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