Let’s Do the Time Warp Again…


Well Friends, 

Monday is therapy day.  At 1pm I get to go off to see my therapist and then I get to return to work and pretend to be completely normal and unaffected.  AND THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO….

I have one major question that no one can answer for me.  I have been up and down the timeline…even trying to draw it out on a calendar.  After I was beaten by Jerk…I lost three days.  I am missing three days and I can’t find them.  I think I am missing them.  By my count they are really just gone almost like I was abducted by an alien or something.

It is horribly frustrating and very frightening.  What happened?  What did I do?  Will I ever remember?  Do I want to know?  Will this last forever?

Our concerns in therapy are teaching me to stop being so hypervigilant.  To help me lose my anxiety in elevators and restaurants and all of those places that people go everyday without worrying about where to sit or who is there with you. 

My concern is lost time.  I really like my therapist and talking things out helps.  I am just not so sure that sitting with my back to a door in a restaurant is really going to do much more than mess up a perfectly good dinner out.  I do the homework that she gives me and I really want to make it work.  However, I really want to find those missing days more than anything.

Blessings

Joan

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2 Responses to “Let’s Do the Time Warp Again…”

  1. jayherron Says:

    The missing three days most likely went with shock! My PTSD causes time warps-for example-at a VA appointment I was sitting in the waiting room and the television was going. I remember the news was on-and Hillery Clinton was being interviewed-I remember the veteran sitting next to me say something sexualabout her-and then I wen blank,and all I remember hearing after that was a strange mumble sound in my head.
    That evening the doctor telephoned me-she was giving me ‘what for’ because I walked out of the appointment…that was the first my conscienceness was restored-and I tried to explain.
    Shock is interesting-and deadly too…but folks do some very strange things when in shock-time loss is typical-I am certain that is where you put the three lost days!
    BTW-I am VERY uncomfortable when ever any person makes sexual comments!
    peace

  2. enemyinthewire Says:

    Jay,

    I know what you mean about sexual comments! They can drive me crazy. Yesterday someone I was working with made a comment about me being “a very beautiful woman.” I couldn’t wait for that person to go away! Sure, he was being nice (and probably just needs an eye exam) but it was creepy as hell!

    I’m sure that is where my missing three days went. I just hate that it is gone. I wonder what mistakes I made!

    I had the same thing after Comp and Pen. I remember arriving and I remember the appointment pretty well, although more like a film I am watching than an actual event. I remember leaving and getting in the car. I know that I stopped for lunch and I can even tell you I had Tuna Salad. But the time between the VA and the Lunch stop is gone (probably 40 minutes.) The first really clear memory I have of that day is arriving in a town along the route that is 40 minutes from my house…so honestly, I missed about 90 minutes.

    I admit, I like to be in control. Not controlling…just in command of what is going on for me. I hate that I can’t find those memories when time goes on the Warp.

    Blessings,

    Joan

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