All I Ever Wanted

When I was 17, all I wanted was to serve. I had this sense of purpose, and knew my destiny was to serve my country. I worked hard to enlist, and fought with my father for 3 weeks over my decision. He refused to speak to me during that time, until I told him that he could sign the papers or wait 5 weeks and I would be 18, and old enough to sign them myself. He gave in, but until the day he died, he always reminded me what that decision had cost me.

I am choosing to use the name Brigid, after my favorite Irish Saint. She was a very strong, intellegent and compassionate woman, and I do try to emulate her. Although compassion towards my torturers will be somewhat difficult for me. I have suffered endlessly at the hands of many of my fellow soldiers, females included, so my compassion towards them is somewhat lacking.

Let me tell you about a time I was 18, and was on weekend pass with many of my friends. We had rented an apartment for the weekend, and I had gotten a little too drunk and was passed out in the bedroom. Two of my supposed male friends (not ones who I rented the apartment with) decided that I should be able to accommodate both of them at the same time while I was passed out. I woke up with one in my vagina, and the other in my mouth. Yes, I bit down.

My friends that I rented the apartment with had to break the door down to save me, and they witnessed my rape. What did the military do? They threatened to lock me up for 10 years for having sexual intercourse that was outside of the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Meaning that since I was raped by not just 1 man, but 2, it was a violation. And because one of my assailants raped me in my mouth, it was yet another violation. Oh, and my 4 friends who broke the door down to save me? Oh, they would all be facing 10 years in Leavenworth as well, because they witnessed and unnatural sex act. They only way that I could save my friends, who had save me, was to drop all charges. CID intimidated me so badly, that I felt I had no choice. They also told me that it was all my fault that I was raped, just because I was there.

What happened to the 2 men who raped me? Nothing. They were allowed to continue to serve, and I assume rape other women along the way.

I wish I could say that was the only time something like that ever happened to me in the military. But I would be lying. All I ever wanted was to serve, and all I ever got was abuse and heartache.


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One Response to “All I Ever Wanted”

  1. enemyinthewire Says:

    Bridget! You finally made it! I’m glad to see you are online with me now.

    For those who might read Bridget’s first account and think…”That is the bat sh** craziest thing I ever done read! No way that is really true!”

    I’ve seen the records from the training post. Bridget was smart enough to make and keep copies. It’s so hard to believe, but it’s true.

    Love ya, man! You keep me “off of those ledges” to quote Amy Grant.


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